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February 06 2018

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I post hard stuff sometimes, but it’s fantasy. In real life there should be consent, always.

Finding each others limits is where the fun and intimacy is, riding rough shod over that makes you a selfish twat….

And a fucking rapist


Poly Thoughts 11/21/17

  1. Practicing poly might be harder than you expected it would be. Sure, you logically get it. Maybe you’ve even experienced feelings for more than one person at a time before. And you get the whole “He/She is not replacing me” thing. So it may surprise you when your feelings decide to go in a different direction than your brain had predetermined they would go as you begin actually doing polyamory versus just thinking of it in concept. What you should know: this is normal.
  2. Your feelings: what to do with them? So you want to be a supportive poly partner, but what the eff do you do with all these feelings? If you share them with your partner, it might cause them pain, or doubt about whether to go through with their plans, or they might accuse you of not being “good at poly.” I’m going to share a huge poly secret with you: no one is an expert at poly. We are each stumbling our way through polyamory and learning as we go. As counterintuitive as it may seem, share your feelings with your partner/s. You are responsible for your feelings: yes. But part of that responsibility is communicating those feelings with your partner in a way of not expecting them to fix you or stop doing whatever it is that’s causing you concern or insecurity or fear. By being transparent and vulnerable with your partner/s, by sharing where you are feelings-wise, it enables your partner to provide you reassurance and love in your moment of need. If the thought of your partner going on a date later causes you to feel lonely, maybe your partner can set aside a little time earlier in the day to spend with you. Your partner is with you for a reason. In any healthy relationship, each partner wants to support the other. Let your partner have the opportunity to walk with you through the scary parts, so you can learn together.
  3. You’re not going to be perfect at poly. Did I mention feelings are illogical? If you think you’re a relatively secure person, set your oven to 350, start a poly relationship, and wait for the oven to preheat. Chances are by the time your oven is preheated, some hidden insecurity you had no idea existed will be brought to the surface. I like to say polyamory is like a magnifying glass, which I don’t see that as a bad thing. It allows you another opportunity to learn and grow. And if you continue communicating with your partner/s, they can grow with you. To me, that’s a beautiful thing. At some point, you’re gonna muck it up, your feelings will take over, and you’ll forget all those logical principles you previously thought were so great. And that’s ok.

Remember: communicate, practice compassion, and forgive.

You know what they say, “there but for the grace of another effing learning opportunity go I…” or whatever it is they say. ❤️😊

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Stop tying your mind up with thinking wrong. Learn to give in to your true desires.

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That’s my kind of girl!

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No time to grieve for roses when the forests are burning.
— Juliusz Słowacki

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

Pierced Beauty


All pieces of jewelery are handmade by www.goldpiercingart.de

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